Fawlty Towers: Communication problems

Basil: Good morning, Madam. Can I help you?
Mrs Richards: Are you the manager?
Basil: I am the owner, Madam.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I am the owner.
Mrs Richards: I want to speak to the manager
Basil: I am the manager, too
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I am the manager as well
Manuel: Manaher. He manaher
Mrs Richards: Oh, you’re Watt
Basil: I’m the manager!
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I’m the manager!
Mrs Richards: Yes, I know. You’ve just told me. What’s the matter with you? Now, listen to me. I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath.
Basil: You’ve got a bath
Mrs Richards: I’m not paying £7.20p per night plus V.A.T., for a room without a bath!
Basil: There is your bath.
Mrs Richards: You call that a bath? It’s not big enough to drown a mouse. It’s disgraceful!
Basil: I wish you were a mouse. I’d show you.
Mrs Richards: And another thing. I asked for a room with a view.
Basil: Deaf, mad, and blind. This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, yes, this is it.
Mrs Richards: When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
Basil: That is Torquay, madam.
Mrs Richards: That is not good enough.
Basil: Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically…
Mrs Richards: Don’t be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It’s over there between the land and the sky.
Mrs Richards: I need a telescope to see that.
Basil: Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea? Or preferably in it? Mrs Richards: Right. Now, listen to me. I’m not satisfied, but I’ve decided to stay here. However, I shall expect a reduction.
Basil: Why, because Krakatoa’s not erupting at the moment?
Mrs Richards: Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn’t work.
Basil: No, the radio works. You don’t.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I’ll see if I can fix it, you scabby old bat. I think we got something then
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: I think we got something then!
Mrs Richards: What are you doing?
Manuel: Qué?
Basil: Madam, don’t think me rude, but may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid?
Mrs Richards: A what?
Basil: A hearing aid!
Mrs Richards: Yes, I do have a hearing aid.
Basil: Would you like me to get it mended?!
Mrs Richards: Mended? It’s working perfectly all right.
Basil: No, it isn’t!
Mrs Richards: I haven’t got it turned on at the moment.
Basil: Why not?
Mrs Richards: The battery runs down. Now, what sort of a reduction are you going to give me on this room?
Basil: 60% if you turn it on.
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: My wife handles all such matters. I’m sure she will be delighted to discuss it with you.
Mrs Richards: I shall speak to her after lunch.
Basil: You heard that all right, didn’t you?
Mrs Richards: What?
Basil: Thank you so much. Lunch will be served at half past 12:00.