NEW YEAR’S EVE JOKES
Find the missing words to complete the jokes.
a) guests | d) jogging | g) quit | j) buying |
b) blocking | e) husband | h) happened | k) embarrassing |
c) haven’t | f) although | i) happily | l) pub |
Q: What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?
A: I 1 ……………….. seen you for a year!
Q: What 2 ……………….. to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year?
A: He gave up thinking.
Q: What’s the problem with 3 ……………….. on New Year’s Eve?
A: The ice falls out of your drinks!
New Year’s Eve
On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local 4 ……………….. and said that it was time to get ready.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every 5 ……………….. to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of 6 ………………… As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
New Year’s Eve party
The New Year’s Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous 7 ……………….. coming and going. At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily 8 ……………….. no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there 9 ……………….. for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. “You know,” he confided to his host: “I wasn’t even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests’ cars are 10 ……………….. my driveway.”
The guest continued: “My wife’s been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved.”
New Year Resolution
A friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, “I think you made a New Year resolution to 11 ……………….. smoking.”
The man says, “I am in the process of quitting. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”
“What’s phase one? asked his friend.
“I’ve quit 12 ………………...”
answers:
1-c 2-h 3-d 4-l 5-e 6-k 7-a 8-f 9-I 10-b 11-g 12-j
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