The Big Bang Theory – Sheldon lends Penny money

The Big Bang Theory – Sheldon lends Penny money

Penny: It cost me like twelve hundred dollars to fix it.

Sheldon: You know, it occurs to me you could solve all your problems by obtaining more money.

Penny: Yes, it occurs to me, too.

Sheldon: Hang on a moment. Here. Take some. Pay me back when you can.

Penny: Wow, you got a lot of money in there.

Sheldon: That’s why it’s guarded by snakes. Take some.

Penny: Don’t be silly.

Sheldon: I’m never silly. Here.

Penny: No, I can’t.

Sheldon: Don’t you need money?

Penny: Well, yeah, but…

Sheldon: This is money I’m not using.

Penny: But what if you need it?

Sheldon: My expenses account for 46.9% of my after-tax income. The rest is divided up between a small savings account, this deceptive container of peanut brittle and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure who shall remain nameless for his own protection. Or her own protection. Take some.

Penny: Really? I mean, are you sure?

Sheldon: I see no large upcoming expenditures unless they develop an affordable technology to fuse my skeleton with adamantium like Wolverine.

Penny: Are they working on that?

Sheldon: I sincerely hope so.

Penny: Okay. Well, thank you. Oh, God, no, I can’t. Sheldon honey, I don’t want things to be weird between us.

Sheldon: Won’t it also be weird if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you’re living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rain water?

Penny: I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.

Sheldon: Of course you will. It’s impossible to pay me back sooner than you can. Assuming you subscribe to a linear understanding of time and causality.

Penny: I’m regretting this already.