Fawlty Towers: Breakfast in bed

Sybil: Oh, no, I wouldn’t have thought so. He watches the football. Number 8, isn’t it?
Guest: Thank you.
Sybil: Are you feeling all right?
Guest: Not too good, no.
Sybil: Would you like a little hot something?
Guest: No, fine, thank you.
Sybil: Well, if there’s anything you need …
Guest: Thank you.
Sybil: That wasn’t him, that was a new one.
Basil: Good night. I said, good night.
Guest: Oh, good night.
Basil: Didn’t hurt, did it? Good manners cost nothing.
Sybil: He’s not feeling very well, Basil.
Basil: He only had to say good night. It’s not the Gettysburg Address.
Sybil: Basil, when you’re not feeling well …
Basil: Just two little words, dear, that bring a little happiness into the world.
Guest: Excuse me?
Sybil: Yes, Mr. Leeman, what can I do for you?
Guest: Do you think I might have breakfast in bed in the morning?
Basil: In bed?
Guest: Yes.
Sybil: Of course, Mr. Leeman.
Basil: Yes, we can manage that.
Sybil: Yes, we can. I’ll call you back.
Guest: I’m sorry?
Basil: Most of our guests manage to struggle down in the morning.
Sybil: A full breakfast or the continental?
Guest: Oh, I don’t …
Sybil: Our chef does a very good full breakfast, eggs, bacon, sausages, tomato, fried bread …
Guest: The continental.
Sybil: You wouldn’t care for kippers?
Guest: Fine, kippers, thank you.
Sybil: Toast, butter, marmalade?
Guest: Thank you.
Sybil: Tea or coffee?
Guest: Tea, thank you.
Sybil: Newspaper?
Guest: The Telegraph.
Sybil: Thank you, good night.
Basil:Rosewood, mahogany, teak?
Guest: I beg your pardon?
Basil: What would you like your breakfast tray made out of?
Guest: I don’t really mind.
Basil:Are you sure? Fine, you go along, and have a really good night’s sleep, then. I’m hoping to get a couple of hours myself. I’ll be up in good time to serve you your breakfast in bed. If you can remember to sleep with your mouth open, you won’t even have to wake up. I’ll drop in small pieces of lightly buttered kipper when you’re breathing in the right direction, if that doesn’t put you out! Basil!