Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason skiing scene

Bridget: This is not just a mini-break. This is a holiday in heaven. Told a tiny lie about being an extremely experienced skier. But, honestly, how hard can it be?

Bridget: Ah.

Darcy: Shall we?

Bridget: I know I’m going to like skiing a lot. Very romantic, very relaxing.

Darcy: Bar going up.

Bridget: No. What? Why? [Bridget whimpers] Um… Er… Oh. Oh, God. [whimpers] Oh, God. Oh.

Have you read Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones novels? Here are five of the best quotes from Bridget Jones’s Diary.

“Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket. Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobic’s, peeping Toms, megalomaniacs or perverts. And especially will not fantasize about a particular person who embodies all these things”

“But if you are single the last thing you want is your best friend forming a functional relationship with somebody else.”

“I realize it has become too easy to find a diet to fit in with whatever you happen to feel like eating and that diets are not there to be picked and mixed but picked and stuck to, which is exactly what I shall begin to do once I’ve eaten this chocolate croissant.”

“Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.

The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature — with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin, Dennis Healey eyebrows face a graveyard of dead skin cells, spots erupting, long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter, blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses, flabby body flobbering around. Ugh ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?”

“When someone loves you it’s like having a blanket all round your heart…”