The Big Bang Theory – The Robot

The Big Bang Theory – The Robot

Howard: Oh yeah, they still got the full Monte.

Penny: Leonard?

Leonard: Uh-huh?

Penny: What the hell?

Leonard: Killer robot. We built it.

Penny: Yeah, well, it almost killed me.

Sheldon: If it wanted to kill you, you’d be dead.

Penny: So, who exactly does it want to kill?

Sheldon: I’m sorry, are you unaware of the upcoming Southern California Robot Fighting League Round Robin Invitational?

Penny: You know, since I moved last year, not all my mail has been forwarded.

Howard: It’s a big deal. There’s an awards banquet and a dance afterward. Perhaps you’d like to come with me. I know the other fellas would be really excited to see a girl there.

Penny: How is it supposed to be a dance if I’m the only girl?

Howard: Well, that may be a slight exaggeration. You’d be the only doable girl.

Penny: You’re a pig, Howard.

Howard: How is doable anything but a compliment?

Leonard: Howard, why don’t we just work on the robot?

Howard: Please, Leonard, not now. Once again, Penny and I have begun our little tango.

Penny: Our tango?

Howard: The carnal repartee, the erotic to and fro. But as delicious as the appetizer might be, at some point we will have to succumb and eat the entree while it’s still… hot.

Leonard: I’m begging you, stop talking.

Penny: Look, normally I can just ignore you. I mean, I get it, you’re a little peculiar. You know, like Sheldon.

Sheldon: Yeah, excuse me, Penny, but in this room, you’re the one who’s peculiar.

Penny: Yeah, you might be right. But back to you. I know you think you’re some sort of smooth-talking ladies’ man, but the truth is, you are just pathetic and creepy.

Howard: Um, so what are you saying?

Penny: I am saying it is not a compliment to call me doable. It’s not sexy to stare at my ass and say, “Ooh, it must be jelly ’cause jam don’t shake like that.” And most important, we are not dancing a tango, we’re not to’ing and fro’ing. Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Ever.

Howard: Wait a minute. This isn’t flirting, you’re serious.

Penny: Flirting? You think I’m flirting with you? I am not flirting with you, no woman is ever gonna flirt with you, you’re just gonna grow old and die alone.

Howard: Thanks for the heads up.

Leonard: Howard, where you going?

Howard: I’m going home to live my creepy, pathetic life.

Leonard: Wow.

Penny: Well, someone had to say it.  What?

Leonard: He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot competition.